4 Oscar Frontrunners Who Could’ve Used REIZE
The Awards season is well and truly underway, and we are so very close to the most prestigious of them all: the Oscars. It’s been a stellar year for film, which means some difficult decisions for the Academy. Will Leo finally get his Oscar? Will the Academy be brave enough to reward Spotlight? And how many times will people mispronounce the name of Best Actress nominee Saoirse Ronan?
But here at REIZE, we’re wondering something different. What if some of the stars of last year’s best films had access to our friend in the little black sachet? Using our not-at-all-scientific method, here’s what we found.
It’s the scene that’s got everybody talking. The moment when Hugh Glass (aka Leo DiCaprio, the dude who totally could've fit on the raft!) disturbs some grizzly bear cubs and gets mauled by their mother. Thus leaving him on the brink of death. It is one of the most visceral scenes in cinema history, and will almost certainly result in Leo getting that long-awaited, undoubtedly nightly pinned for, statuette.
But what if our protagonist had had REIZE on hand? Before any fact checker get their panties in a bunch, this is an imaginative exercise. In this scenario both energy drinks and foil sachets have been invented and are common enough for a some guy to carry a little with him when he goes on hunting excursions. Happy?
Given the convenience of REIZE, he easily could have had some, ready to have on the go. The increased state of alertness and clearer mind that the caffeine boost would have given him might have saved him from bothering the cubs in the first place. Who knows, maybe if he had that extra stimulant, he might have been able to fight off the bear itself.
Disclaimer: REIZE bears no responsibility if you fight a grizzly.
Admittedly, water was a pretty precious resource for astronaut Mark Watney (Matt Damon). He has been unknowingly abandoned on Mars, thought dead by the rest of his crew. Mars, as you hopefully know, is a virtually waterless planet...and he’s low on resources, no matter how far his crazy botany skills, science know-how and poop get him. However, if he could spare even just a little bit of it to make himself a REIZE, it could have paid dividends.
Being stranded alone on Mars, almost 80 million kilometres away from the rest of humanity, would be pretty stressful. However, taurine is known as a natural anti-anxiety drug, and though it mightn’t completely dispel the sense of complete isolation and impending doom, every little bit helps, right?
Disclaimer: REIZE recommends against travelling to Mars without the cooperation of NASA or another internationally recognised space agency.
A dark horse this year, Brooklyn is the tale of Irish girl Eilis Lacey (Saoirse Ronan), who immigrates to New York in the early 1950s. Striking out on her own, the film is an inspiring journey of self-development as she transforms herself from naïve, young girl into a strong, independent woman, with lots of crying along the way. She does find herself torn between the USA and her homeland, which is where REIZE can step in.
Though much of the film is about Eilis dealing with a terribly difficult decision, the increased focus provided by the dual energy boost of caffeine and taurine would have been a great help in her decision-making, and assist in her journey of self-improvement. The caffeine would also really some nice happy hormones, so she could see the brighter side of life and stop crying.
Disclaimer: Eilis is pronounced ay-lish and Saoirse is pronounced seer-sha. And no matter what Leo DiCaprio and the director say, Domhnall Gleeson’s name is pronounced doe(like the deer) nall (rhymes with wall). The Irish like to make you work for the correct pronunciation of their names.
Sylvester Stallone is nominated for Best Supporting Actor for his return as Rocky Balboa, but maybe he could have sprinkled some REIZE into his training regime. Ginseng increases stamina and energy levels, taurine can help your muscles work harder and longer, and the sodium bicarbonate delays the onset of fatigue.
Who knows, with a bit of REIZE, maybe Sly, at the ripe age of 69, could have been the one fighting rather than just the trainer? With or without it, I’m not going into the ring with him.
Disclaimer: REIZE claims no responsibility if other 69 year olds take up boxing competitively.
- - - - - -
The big day is February 28th (29th here in Australia). The glitz, the glam, the mayhem, the movies, the stars, the statues, the wardrobe malfunctions and trips on the red carpet. It’s going to be wonderful. But, you know, it’s a long ceremony, so a bit of REIZE to get you through it wouldn’t go astray. Who would you choose for the win? Let us know!
Written by James Lamb